How to Attract the Right Friendships for You

I recall the very first day of yoga teacher training. I was scared out of my wits. For some reason, I was even more scared of my fellow yoga teacher trainees. 

There was one who especially scared me. She was tall, blonde and flowed beautifully on her mat. I was in awe of her established personal practice and poised calm demeanor. 

Many weeks into training later, I decided to ask her if she wanted to practice with me an hour before each class. She said sure! We began teaching each other poses and eventually built up to going over sequences, sharing training notes, and exchanging yoga resources. 

 Me and Kendra at the Self Care Daze event on Sat April 14th! Photo taken by  Alexis Damen

Me and Kendra at the Self Care Daze event on Sat April 14th! Photo taken by Alexis Damen

Kendra, the same yogi I was intimidated by, is now my closest yoga teacher friend. As graduates of the same teacher training, we stay in touch, meet together, and she even came to the very first Self Care Daze event.

Why do I share this story? I share this to let us all know that we can attract the right friendships into our lives. There are so many resources about how we can find the right soulmate, but there is not enough encouragement that we can find the right friendship! 

So let's talk about a few ways I have found it easier to become friends with the right people. 

Be open to engaging conversations in your stomping grounds. Think about it, the people who have similar interests are more likely to have similar characteristics and personalities. Thus, being more compatible to be our friend! 

If we love yoga, we will be at a yoga studio. If we love science, we will be at a museum. If we love nature, we will be at a botanical garden. Being at your usual stomping ground is the perfect opportunity to strike a conversation with somebody.

I recommend leading with open-ended questions. In the places above, we can ask the following questions to someone. At a yoga class, "What do you think of class today?" At a science museum, "What do  you like about this exhibit?" At a botanical garden, "What is your favorite flower installation so far?"

People are more open than we think. If they answer with a warm response, then get to talking! If they don't, they are not the friend for you. It's all about seeing how it goes. But you never know until you try! 

Do not get intimidated by opening yourself up to new people. Intimidation is a manifestation of our own insecurities. Being intimidated by someone means we are insecure about ourselves in something that we assume they are better at. 

When we let insecurity rule us, it can cripple us. Not only in our minds, but in our relationships. We can lose out on finding a wonderful friendship by not simply embracing someone else's strength and being inspired by it. 

For example, I was intimidated by how kickass Kendra was on the mat, but that was all my own crap about being scared about yoga teacher training! Being open, I made a great supportive, friend who I talk all about yoga and beyond with. 

If we are not careful, our insecurities can make us miss out on some great friendships, as well as being a good friend ourself! 

Make sure you are the type of friend you would want to have. You are what you attract. If you are anxious, stressed, and depressed, those are the type of people you attract. If you are happy, inspired, and loving, those are the type of people you attract. 

Similar energies are attracted to each other so when we want a friend, we do have to think about what type of person are we? Do we need to work on some things? Do we need to initiate self-care? Do we need to initiate therapy? 

Friendship is a two-way street and our roles are just as important. For me, I am constantly asking myself if I am the type of the person I would want to be friends with. I like to think about if I am embodying what I want to attract before I try to connect myself with a person. 

It's all about being the person you want to be around! That is so key in attracting the right friends to you. 

Are you ready to attract some friendships?! Finding the right friendships is all about being in the right places, working on the right mindset, and being the right person. 

We are all ready to attract the right friendships in our lives. They will come, and when they do, they will be so rewarding!

-ST