The Apology Tragedy
After much thought about this all week, let’s talk about apologizing. Why is it that we apologize and say sorry for everything?
We can’t make it to an appointment? Sorry. We aren’t able to meet a demand? Sorry. We don't want to make it an outing? Sorry.
If there was a count on how many times we say sorry in a day, what would our count be? Probably more than around 20 times!
Apology is defined as an "expression of regret for having done or said something wrong. Out of the around 20 times we say sorry in a day, let's think about the times we really had done something or said something wrong".
As people, especially women, we tend to be so hard on ourselves (myself certainly included). We blame ourselves. We internalize mistakes. We own faults.
Apologies have been tragedies for our self-esteems.
That’s why I want to share something that I tried out that really made a difference in my conversations and feelings toward myself.
The past week, I consciously practiced not saying sorry for everything. Before apologizing, I asked myself the following questions:
What exactly am I apologizing for?
How am I affecting the person and/or situation?
When can I show that I am sorry more than using the words?
These questions really made me evaluate what I was accepting being wrong for and how to fix it.
We can certainly all try asking ourselves these questions together. It can make such a huge impact on our days if we stop blaming ourself for everything.
Some things are not in our control. Some things we cannot and should not take ownership or responsibility for. Let’s apologize less!
Now, that doesn’t mean we do malicious things to people and not say sorry. But we can think of the questions above and analyze before we use the words, “I’m sorry.”
Who's with me? This is such an amazing practice and something that can be so worthwhile.
Have a great week being more thoughtful on saying your sorries :)