Last year, I said yes to everything. That event? Yes. That meeting? Yes. That class? Yes. That gig? Yes. Guess how I ended up? Burnt out.
This year, I've been saying no more often. That event? No. That meeting? No. That class? No. That gig? No. Guess how I'm ending up? Energized inside.
In last week's post on self-love, I briefly mention that saying no can be our form of loving ourselves. It's very true, and I'm proof. Saying no has liberated and rejuvenated my passions, relationships, and ultimately, my lifestyle.
Why don't we say "no" more often? I believe one of the major reasons is the cycle of "what if." We think of imaginary possibilities and consequences of saying no.
How about you? Do you get stuck in the "what if" cycle? Let's talk about what would happen if you said no more often.
You'd have more time to say yes to your passions. If you had more time in your schedule, you can fit in the things you love. Whether it's painting, swimming, writing, or fencing, you'd be able to put it in your calendar. It's up to you to make the time for your passion.
Last year, I said yes to many things that weren't my passions. I fit time in for relationships that weren't building me up and activities that weren't adding to me. Thus, I didn't have time to do the things I loved, including blogging (hence, why I took a break).
In saying no this year, I've found I have more time to blog and dedicate to Self Soul Sport™. I dedicate Thursday evenings to Self Soul Sport™ podcasting and Sunday mornings to Shanna Tyler LLC, blogging. There are no activities that will come my way during these times, and I simply say no.
When we are firm in our schedules and calendars in what we will make time for, we have more time to say yes to our passions. It is easier to say no once we are steadfast in that decision to say yes to passion.
You'd set necessary boundaries in personal relationships. If you're not setting boundaries, you're not likely to be satisfied in your relationships. Saying no will eventually need to show up in either personal or professional relationships. It's up to you to say it.
As a naturally giving person, it's hard for me to say no. I have a hard time saying no at my job, for the blog, and in friendships. I want to give my schedule, knowledge, and expertise to be helpful. But last year, I learned I needed to set boundaries with a packed calendar and exhausted mind.
This year, the word no has been showing up in staying late or taking on more responsibility with my boss. The word no has been showing up in taking free products/samples from brand reps. The word no has been showing up in going to a workout class or networking event with friends. It has been necessary to set these boundaries.
In order to protect our energies, we need to set boundaries in relationships. Saying no is the most efficient way to do so. We can follow our scheduled passions and enlightened instinct to do so.
You'd listen to your inner voice that is guiding you. Ultimately, you know when to say no and when to say yes. There are just emotions and feels that get in the way (like guilt, shame, fear, etc.). Saying no can mean listening to your instinct, gut, center, or whatever word resonates with you.
I used to say yes all the time when I had a feeling I should say no. Last year was no different. I committed to say many events and activities that I felt my inner voice telling me to say no to. Once I did them, I felt resentful and out of control of time.
This year, I've chosen to listen to that inner voice that tells me to say no. I've said no to opportunities that many would gasp at. I've said no to many events that many would dream of. I've said no to many products that don't align with me. It's all because I'm now guided by that inner voice.
Once we decide to listen to our inner voice, we live more balanced and fulfilled lifestyles. We say yes to our passions and set boundaries in relationships. We fill our calendars with what is meant for us, not what we feel pressured to.
So what would happen if you said no more often? What if? What if you decided to say no to something today?
For me, saying no has led to a lifestyle that I'm more excited to lead. Saying no has led to me saying yes to my passions. Saying no has led me to being more firm in my instinct.
I don't have all the answers and I certainly am still saying no to things in my life. But let me tell you, this year has been the year of no. And it's both terrifying and exciting! I wish you the best in saying no!