The Best Ways to Live an Awesome Life as a Twenty-Something in a Big City

As a twenty-something based in the New York Metro Area, I am definitely learning a few things about how to make the most of life. It can be both terrifying and exhilarating to lead a life knowing you are a small fish in a big pond. 

There are times I feel confident and insecure. There are times I feel strong and weak. There are times I feel excited and terrified. What's kept me going are these ways to lead an awesome life that I've personally kept in mind. So let's get to what they are! 

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Be unapologetic about who you are and what you represent. To me, this is the most important. There are so many opportunities to do the opposite. We can dull down who we are, but at the core, we still are that person. It's up to us to live in our truth. 

This is not easy for me, by any means. Being twenty-six, I can get tempted to not be who I am. Out of fear of judgment, I will either not mention something I love or not fully embody my personality in front of others. But those are just temptations, because then I go through a cycle of "what if" questions. 

What if I was truly myself? What if I had no problem saying all that I do professionally? What if I had no problem mentioning I am a practicing Christian? What if I said I'm still living with my parents? 

We are not in charge of how other people think of us or what opinions they make. So we might as well let others form an opinion when we are being our true selves. We also might as well be proud that we are always 100% honest and true in representing who we are. That's just an awesome feeling in itself! 

Stay in your lane and never compare your journey to anyone else's. In any big city, competition is real. In New York City, competition is the realest. Don't get me wrong, competition can be good, it can be healthy and necessary for us to need that extra push in the right direction. However, let's not confuse competition and comparison. 

Comparison is when we decide that someone else has something better than us. We tend to envy it and want it for ourselves. We will look at that accomplishment like we should have had it, whether it's a win, promotion, collaboration, gig, you name it. 

I used to do this all the time. I used to critique what other people had and say that I was more deserving. In a big city, this is an easy trap to fall into. But I've learned something. I needed to stay in my own damn lane. My journey is different than everyone else's, thus, my wins will look different than everyone else's.

We all have unique talents and abilities that should be celebrated. We can be a little competitive and admire someone else. But the slippery road of comparison will keep us from really moving forward. To lead an awesome life as a twenty-something, we want to move forward instead of trying to move toward what other people have. 

Learn to say no, in a nice way and with a smile; setting boundaries is important. No is an important word to adopt into our vocabulary. I notice as twenty-somethings, we are somehow allergic to it! We want to say yes to everything to make other people happy, when we know in our guts that it is not the right timing or thing for us.

I recently had to say no to an amazing opportunity. If you would have told me months ago that this opportunity would arise, I wouldn't have believed you. This was something that was my dream and would be any New Yorker's dream in my yoga industry. But I said no. Why? Because it wasn't the right time. I had to set boundaries with my own self in what was realistic and not realistic in my schedule. 

At times, we are going to have to say no. It is going to happen one way or the other. What matters is how we say no. We can be fake and use an excuse, or we can let people know the real deal. There's nothing wrong with saying I'm super busy with so many projects or admitting that you have to spend time with your family. 

You know what? People tend to respect when we are honest with saying no. It is so rare to see others setting boundaries with themselves. How awesome is it to be an example of that at the same time as honoring ourselves! 

Last but not least, the right people will gravitate toward you with right attitude and at the right time. We are badass, kickass, and a big ass deal. We are dynamite just by being ourselves. It's simply because there is no one else like us. With an attitude of confidence, we gravitate our people. 

When I first came into this blog and Instagram journey, I was intimidated. I had a hard time thinking that anyone would care about what the heck I had to say. But I continued anyway. Today, I have built lasting friendships and amazing opportunities that could have only come from being who I am, Shanna Tyler. 

I stopped worrying about the timing of everything. I stopped worrying about other people and whether they would like me. Because the right people would come at the right time. You are my people, yes you! I'm so happy you are, too! This life is that much more awesome in being surrounded by the right people who are on your team. 

Living life as a twenty-something in a big city is rough, at times. These are the years we are still figuring out what life is all about. We are getting new jobs, quitting old ones, meeting new partners, dumping old ones, embracing our bodies, and hating our lumps. Ah! So much happening. 

But what is real are these best ways to live. Setting boundaries is necessary. Staying in our lane is non-negotiable. Representing who we really are is key. And knowing that the right people will come into our life at the right time is straight truth. Now these ways are still all tested by me and worked on by me as a twenty-something. I'm not the queen of them, but certainly here to share them! 

What are your best ways to live an awesome life as a twenty-something, especially in a big city?  Either as a former twenty-something or a current one, feel free to leave any ways to make this whole life thing even better! 

-ST

Why You Need to Take a Damn Break... and Not Say Sorry About It

Ya'll, it's been so long! Intentionally, I took a break from blogging. Yup, yah girl needed a break. Better yet, I am not even going to say sorry for it. 

We have so much to catch up on and so much time to do it! First things first, let's talk all about taking breaks and why they are so important. 

Photo Taken By Diana Davis Creative

Photo Taken By Diana Davis Creative

Every one of us needs time for ourselves. Every single one of us can use some time to get ourselves together. We all can use minutes, days, weeks, and months where we can regroup, refresh, and reset. This summer was that for me. 

At the end of June, I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I decided to stop it. I stopped going to the gym six times a week. I stopped blogging on the site every Sunday. I stopped dedicating time to jobs and projects that did not serve me.

When I decided to stop these commitments is when I decided to say yes to myself. The time I spent doing those things, I spent rededicating to my yoga practice, recommitting myself to my religion, and reconnecting with my people. 

There is no need to say sorry for needing a break. We are human beings; we are not machines. We need to energize ourselves and we cannot do it by not allowing ourselves to take breaks. Saying sorry about it means that we think there is something wrong about needing a break. 

I was raised by my parents to be a go-getter. I was raised by my parents to not let being a minority, in many ways, keep me from striving for more. I was raised by my parents to keep fighting the good fight, tired or not. 

I am thankful to them for this mentality, but as I get older, I am realizing that this is just unrealistic. The past few months, I started to feel guilty that I couldn't juggle a million things and be on point in every facet of my life. I began saying sorry to people and organizations, until I realized. I don't need to.

We gotta speak more about saying sorry. According to my friend Google, apology is a regretful acknowledgement of an offense or failure. Who the heck are we offending by saying yes to ourselves? How the heck are we failing when we decide to take a break? If anything, we should be grateful that we are allowing ourselves to take a break to be able to give more fully to others. 

I've certainly talked about apologies before in this post from October, but I find it is so relevant in this topic of taking breaks. Feeling any kind of guilt for saying no or pulling back from commitments is so unnecessary. We do not need to. Will we still initially feel it? Yes, but that does not mean we need to accept it. 

I needed a damn break this summer, and I'm not sorry about it. I gained a little weight from not going to the gym and sticking to my BBG program. I neglected updating this website and blogging every Sunday. I quit my old job and started working for an amazing tech startup. 

There is no way I am going to say sorry for any of those things. What do I need to apologize for? My break was not offensive or a failure. It was necessary and a win. I said yes to myself. In doing so, I am back here talking with you guys again. I am rejuvenated and ready to teach yoga again (stay tuned). But most importantly, I feel like myself. 

How about you? What are some things that you need to let go of? What are some commitments that you can take a break from? And remember, no need to say sorry for any of it! 

-ST

The Top Five Reasons to Start Your Own Instagram Community if You Have Been Wanting To

Call me bias, but the Instagram experience is amazing! I have reached the year anniversary of my Instagram journey and building of #selfsoulsport, as well as have met amazing people along the way. 

I remember when I first started @shannatyler_. It was a scary choice to integrate all of what I believed to be important keys to a healthier and happier lifestyle in one Instagram account. It meant sharing parts of myself and being my most authentic self. 

Photo taken by Diana DavisΒ 

Photo taken by Diana Davis 

On June 12th, I made the decision to create the hashtag above and dedicate each post to this idea of loving ourselves, nurturing our souls, and engaging in sport. 

Today, I hosted a brunch event that allowed that come to life. It was hosted at Athleta Flatiron (126 5th avenue), where I am also a brand ambassador. Each woman shared their self-care practices, how they nurture their souls, and their favorite workouts. 

What astounded so many in the event, including myself, was how strong Instagram is and how it can be used to establish meaningful relationships. Each and every woman I met I have connected with or kept in contact with through Instagram. 

That being said, I would love to tell you the top five reasons you should build your own Instagram (IG) community if you have been thinking about it! 

Your unique voice adds something to the Instagram universe. First and foremost, you have something to add. What message you have to spread is your own. No one else can replicate it and no one else can duplicate it. 

According to Business Insider, Instagram had about 700 million users as of April 2017. With those numbers, imagine how many people we can connect to. When we contribute our voice to such a huge social media outlet, it is bound to resonate with others in the huge Instagram universe. 

You will meet incredible people in that universe who get you. Birds of a feather flock together; Instagram is the perfect place to align yourself with people who get your message. 

Whether it's health, wellness, fitness, finance, or photography, your account is bound to attract the same people to you. Then it is in your hands to follow through! You can meet them in-person, and if you guys are too far from one another, you can schedule a Skype, FaceTime, or Google Hangout. You never know the amazing relationships that can happen! 

Your Instagram will become a way to tell your life story, and you will bring others with you. Telling a story is a great way to get stuff off of our chests. When we share on Instagram, it instantly becomes an online journal. 

The reason why telling our stories is so wonderful is because people will take that journey with you. There will be people who are going through similar events and circumstances who will be touched by what you are sharing. It also will help you to find those people to meet up with! 

You will be supported and uplifted by your community when you need it. Ya'll, Instagram is a beautiful space. When you build a community on Instagram, those people are connected to you and your shared journey. 

When you share your voice and your journey, people connect with you and you will connect with them. Your Instagram community will start to root for you, cry with you, and laugh with you. You will share your ups and downs, then something amazing will happen.

Soon, you will have comments and DMs from people who care about you. They will check up on you if you haven't posted in a while. They will ask what's wrong when things seem out of whack. They will also laugh at your corny jokes! I personally love Instagram for that, haha! 

You have a chance to give back to others and share what you go through. Last but not least, you never realize how much you can impact others. Your Instagram can be used for such good. 

Each post or story can impact another's life, whether we know it or not. It can be exactly what someone needs to hear at the moment. It can be exactly where someone else is in their life. It can  be exactly the laugh that someone needed from your silly face filter. 

Your Instagram will have a chance to give back to someone exactly what someone else's gives to you. If that isn't a good enough reason to start one, I don't know what else is! 

If you want to create an Instagram account with a community, do it. Start it today. Create that name, invite your friends, make your first post, and go along for the ride. The journey is well worth it! 

If you already have an Instagram community, be encouraged. Keep on going. It will continue to be rewarding. It will continue to be an amazing experience. Your voice is what is needed on this huge Instagram platform. 

I have realized that my own Instagram has built a strong community, without even knowing it. I was able to invite women to this event this morning right from my Instagram app. I was able to connect with each of them through it and stay in touch with them on it. 

What I hoped for came true: to spread love and kindness to others in a social media platform that is so huge and is so saturated. I wanted to create a space where women felt safe to like a picture, read a caption, and allow themselves to integrate their own #selfsoulsport into their lives. 

And wow, it has happened. Thank you to each and every one of you!! 

-ST

How to Get Over a Crappy, Funky Attitude

Ever have a crappy, funky attitude and not sure why? Ever want to get over it? 

I had one of those weeks where it felt like a cloud was over me, following me wherever I went. It was so strange because I was riding on such a high from my birthday last week. 

Photo taken by Alexis Damen

Photo taken by Alexis Damen

Sometimes our attitudes just shift and it's time for a tuneup. Logically, I was okay last week. I had a wonderful week prior and this week just seemed to turn into a pile of crap. But that's because I  was focusing on all the wrong things. 

My attitude shifted after my birthday. I felt the pressure of turning a new age and looking to new goals. I felt like I needed to get started on all my goals at the same time and put all my plans in action. That certainly made me funky because change takes time! 

This week I had two main choices: either stay in my "woe is me" attitude or do something to to get over it. I chose to get over it with a few of my favorite routines. 

To get over a funky attitude, be grateful for what is going right. An attitude of gratitude helps us come a long way. It allows us to focus on all of the positives instead of the negatives. When we do that, it's hard to keep up negativity. 

I chose to do that in the beginning of this week. I have a journal where I write in, especially in hard times. In the morning, I have gratitude beads with around 10 baubles that I say what I am grateful for. At night, I also have a gratitude journal I write down at night. 

Making ourselves see all the awesome things that are going on can bring sunshine into the cloud that follows our attitude. I highly recommend doing some kind of gratitude activity, at least, once a day. 

Speaking positive statements about ourselves take us a long way. I am strong. I am beautiful. I am worthy of love. I am important. These are examples of affirmations we can say to ourselves throughout the day. 

I began to say good things to myself. This week, I began to say I am so fortunate to have a family who spent time with me for my birthday. I also said I am looking forward to what is in store this year of life. I also began to focus on my strengths instead of my weaknesses. 

How about you? What do you say to yourself? If you were to examine all the things you say, would it be positive or negative? One of the ways to get over a funk is to be positive and to focus on our strengths. So what's yours? 

Photo taken by Alexis Damen

Photo taken by Alexis Damen

Begin the day with an intention of what you will accomplish. Mornings are so important in our lives. How we rise is how we fall. When we rise with a funky attitude, believe me, we will end the day with one. 

This week, I turned around my attitude with getting really clear on what I will do for the day. I made concrete plans and decisions to go to the gym, to get on my mat, to speak to a friend, and to budget my finances. Having clearly defined goals for the day allowed me to really get over my crap. 

One of the most important times in our day is the morning. Setting a tone for the day is a strength that we need in order to set the attitude for the day. Getting over a doomsday attitude can be done with setting goals and accomplishing them! 

Download a FREE Daily Morning Worksheet and subscribe to the site for encouragement. A morning activity is a wonderful addition to kickstart the day right. I hand created this worksheet with all the tips above and tailored them just for us to get over the blues. 

All of my current subscribers are getting this worksheet and I want you to, too! You can subscribe and download for the PDF worksheet here along with weekly intentions sent from me on Mondays. 

Together, we can create a more positive attitude in our lives. Happy Sunday and enjoy the rest of the week ahead. 

-ST